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quilt

Unger Games

Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA The quilting club at the Fresno First and Last Mennonite Church received an anonymous donation of fabric this past week, which they immediately set out to fashioning into a wonderful new quilt. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Oscar Red Carpet Replaced with Mennonite Quilt

March 16, 2023 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Things were a little different at the 95th annual Academy Awards this year, as the signature red carpet was replaced with a massive Mennonite quilt made by the quilting bee ladies at the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites are Turning their Old Laine Jerseys into Quilts

January 24, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Moments after the Winnipeg Jets announced they had traded superstar right winter Patrik Laine to some team in Ohio, Mennonite Jets fans began fashioning their old Laine jerseys into quilts. “Gotta make some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Quilt Cartel Jacks Up Prices at Mennonite Relief Sale

May 27, 2018 Andrew

NEW HAMBURG, ON According to sources, a group of Mennonite ladies from southern Ontario have banded together to control the supply of quilts into the region. The cartel, known as the Ontario Producers of Elaborate […]

Quizzes

How Many of These Typical Mennonite Things Have You Done?

January 31, 2018 Andrew

How Mennonite are you? Give yourself one point for each of the following typical Mennonite things you’ve done. Add up your score. How many points did you get? Been baptized (not as an infant) Sang […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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