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The Daily Bonnet

Convoy of Mennonite Truckers On Their Way To Ottawa

January 25, 2022 Andrew

ELMIRA, ON A convoy of Mennonite buggies are snaking their way through the country roads all the way from Elmira to Ottawa to demand their right to quilt whatever patterns they so choose. “Who’s Trudeau […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Suffers Embarrassing Case of Premature Election

August 15, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Federal Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has suffered an embarrassing case of premature election this week, the youngest sitting politician ever to suffer in this manner. “It’s my first time encountering this ailment,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Ottawa Senators Attendance Way Up this Year

April 12, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Literally tens of people, including a few security guards and the water boy, were in attendance at the Ottawa Senators home game last week, which is their highest attendance in ages. “It’s nice […]

The Daily Bonnet

M.P. Reads Daily Bonnet Headlines in House of Commons

May 31, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Okay, like, for real. On May 28, Hon. Candice Bergen, Member of Parliament for Portage-Lisgar, spoke in support of a motion to establish a Mennonite Heritage Week. During her speech, she discussed various […]

Unger Suspicion

$8 Billion Marijuana Theme Park to Be Built on Parliament Hill

November 30, 2017 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON As part of the Canada 150 celebrations, the Trudeau Government has just announced the construction of a multi-billion dollar Cannabis Land theme park on Parliament Hill. After a rigorous consultation process, which included […]

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