Local Dog Makes Huge Mess Just to Irritate Owner


Local dog Pieta Wiens, 7 (or 49 in dog years), decided to really give it his all at the park this past Sunday. Pieta made quite the mess and left owner Dietrich Wiens with an hour’s worth of clean up.

“I didn’t bring enough plastic bags,” said Dietrich. “Diewel, that dog is a nuisance yet!”

The experience with the particularly poopy pooch was very traumatic for poor Dietrich.

“I’ve never seen anything like it in all my years,” said Dietrich with tears in his eyes. “My only hope is that the grass will recover someday.”

The Wiens children had been feeding Pieta Wiens from the table on Easter Sunday and by the time they took him for a walk he was like a loaded gun.

“Mennonites are pacifists,” said Dietrich. “Mennonite dogs, on the hand, can be really dangerous if you supply them with ham bones!”

Dietrich was last seen cleaning up the Johan Barkman, L.A. Barkman, and K.R. Barkman Parks before deciding maybe it was finally time to put Pieta down.

Google Honours Mennonites with Farmer Sausage Logo
Marie Kondo Inspires Huge Surge of Donations to Local Thrift Store