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music

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Demand to Have King ‘Burton Cummings’ Added to New Banknotes

September 21, 2022 Andrew

MOOSE JAW, SK In a coronation ceremony held in Moose Jaw this afternoon, legendary moustachioed musician Burton Cummings ascended to the Canadian throne. The move means the new $50 bill will now feature a late […]

The Daily Bonnet

Yes, ‘Skinny Dyck’ of Lethbridge is Real and, No, the Daily Bonnet Didn’t Just Make Him Up

September 20, 2022 Andrew

LETHBRIDGE, AB Unlike a number of made-up musicians in Daily Bonnet history such as the Goertzen Family singers or, say, the great Mennonite hip-hop artist Corny Reimer, up-and-coming alt-country artist Skinny Dyck of Lethbridge is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Baz Luhrmann Directs New Corny Rempel Biopic

September 12, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Renowned Hollywood director Baz Luhrmann has just released a brand new $300 million biopic of southern Manitoba’s greatest Elvis tribute artist and radio personality Corny Rempel. “It tells his story from his modest […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck Return with New Radio Show ‘Saturday Afternoon Meddachschlop at the Opera’

September 6, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Even though most of their fellow Mennonites were too busy mucking the stalls most weekends to notice, for decades opera radio in Canada was dominated by Howard Dyck and Ben Heppner, both long-time […]

Unger Suspicion

Beach Boys Record New Hit: “I Wish They All Could Be Chihuahua Girls”

August 27, 2022 Andrew

HAWTHORNE, CA Renowned 60s surf-rock artists The Beach Boys, who will now be going by the name The Beach Benjels, have reunited to record a fresh new hit entitled “Chihuahua Girls.” The Daily Bonnet has […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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