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music

Unger Suspicion

Singer Ed Sheeran Engaged to Every Woman Who Ever Yelled “Marry Me, Ed” at One of His Concerts

January 22, 2018 Andrew

SUFFOLK, UK According to British law, mellow pop singer Ed Sheeran is legally engaged to more than 12,000 women who have yelled, “marry me,” at his concerts over the years. Among the lucky young women […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Accidentally Sings Hymn 666

December 29, 2017 Andrew

NEUKRONSTHAL, AB A small town Mennonite church caused quite the uproar this past Sunday when the worship leader accidentally told parishioners to “turn in their hymnals to number 666.” “Waut de shissjat is this yet?” […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Finally Switches from Cassette to CD Just in Time for the Demise of CDs

December 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Bennie B. Plett, 67, has finally decided to get rid of all his old gospel tapes and replace them with this new technology he just discovered called the Compact Disc, or […]

The Daily Bonnet

Holdeman Radio Station Plays Nothing but Static

December 8, 2017 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Radio listeners in southern Manitoba have a new option on the dial after a young entrepreneur decided to launch a station dedicated to playing all the best Holdeman hits! CJHLDM 108.3 FM promises […]

Unger Suspicion

7 Rock Songs We Should Sing in Church

November 28, 2017 Andrew

So, I know the elders won’t be in favour of this, but if we’re not going to sing hymns, we should at least sing something better than the “Jesus is my boyfriend” lyrics found in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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