Man Sparks Family Feud After Mowing His Lawn on a Sunday


Local man William ‘Devil Anse’ Friesen incited the wrath of the neighbouring Loewen family after mowing his lawn on a lovely Sunday afternoon.

“Us Loewens never did like those Friesens,” said family matriarch and sharp-shooter Trinnie Loewen. “And then that old schlemm had to disturb my meddachschlop by starting up his mower on a Sunday, yet. Well, that was the last straw!”

Although accounts differ, witnesses say that Trinnie Loewen fired her shot-gun over the fence into the Friesen yard, though Loewen supporters say she was just shooting at a nuisance beaver. That shot, known locally as ‘the shot heard ’round Reimer Avenue,’ roused the anger of the Friesen clan who quickly ran to the shed to get their firearms.

“When that crazy biddy took a shot at my mower I knew it was time to round up the Friesen posse,” explained ‘Devil Anse.’ “We can’t let the Loewens get away with stuff like that.”

Over two dozen well-armed Friesen cousins took their positions at the fence, surrounding the Loewen property, where a three-hour stand-off took place.

“Why’d you have to start your mower on a Sunday?” yelled Mr. Loewen over the fence. “Don’t you know it’s a day of rest?”

These words riled up the Friesen clan, who had long believed that Loewens were a little legalistic in their interpretation of scripture, especially regarding the Sabbath.

“Day of rest? Day of rest? What’re you doing firing bullets into my back yard if it’s such a day of rest!” said old Mr. Friesen, firing a shot into the air.

Eventually law enforcement and the local pastor arrived to try to bring some resolution to the tense situation.

“I’ve combed the scriptures,” said Reverend Koop, “and I can’t find any verse that specifically mentions lawn mowing, so why don’t you all just put down your weapons and go home.”

The feud finally came to a conclusion when the Loewens and Friesens both realized the ‘Back to the Bible’ program was starting and neither family wanted to miss it.

(Photo credit: by globallivesproject/CC)

The Daily Bonnet Announces the Worst Contest Ever!
Winkler Man Discovers He's Dead from the Funeral Announcements