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The Daily Bonnet

Death Plays Crokinole Game for Mennonite Man’s Life

March 23, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The Grim Reaper, aka Death, appeared to Mr. Snyder in Waterloo this weekend intent on taking him with him. Mr. Snyder, however, knowing that Death had a competitive streak, challenged him to a […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Sneak Snacks into the Movie Theatre: A Guide for Cheap Mennonites

March 19, 2019 Andrew

Whether it’s a rock concert, sporting event, or the latest blockbuster movie, oba, those snacks can be expensive! I mean who is really paying $15 for a Bud Light at a Jets game or $25 […]

Unger Suspicion

New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’

February 16, 2019 Andrew

LONDON, UK A popular new biopic, Blumenort Rhapsody, reveals a side of Freddie Mercury’s life that has remained untold until now. From 1978-1982, the Queen singer secretly lived among the Mennonites of southern Manitoba. “At the […]

Unger Suspicion

Jennifer Lawrence to Star in ‘The Unger Games’

January 29, 2019 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Superstar Jennifer Lawrence is planning to take a break from her blockbuster career by staring in a small independent Mennonite film tentatively titled, ‘The Unger Games.’ “It was time I got back in […]

Unger Suspicion

Top Ten Mennonite Movies of 2018

December 29, 2018 Andrew

2018 was quite the year for Mennonite film, smashing box office records and garnering praise from both fans and critics alike. Without further ado, here are the top ten Mennonite films of 2018. 10. Crazy […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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