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movies

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Couple Excited for New ‘Downtown Abby’ Movie

September 28, 2019 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Fast family of Abbotsford was super pumped about the new movie set in their very own community and were first in line to see Downtown Abby this weekend. “I’ve never seen downtown Abbotsford look […]

Unger Suspicion

Mrs. Reimer to Star in New Remake: “The Bible School Graduate”

June 26, 2019 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Indeed! A lot has changed in the past fifty years since the release of the 1967 classic The Graduate. Five decades later the film is being given a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Death Plays Crokinole Game for Mennonite Man’s Life

March 23, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The Grim Reaper, aka Death, appeared to Mr. Snyder in Waterloo this weekend intent on taking him with him. Mr. Snyder, however, knowing that Death had a competitive streak, challenged him to a […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Sneak Snacks into the Movie Theatre: A Guide for Cheap Mennonites

March 19, 2019 Andrew

Whether it’s a rock concert, sporting event, or the latest blockbuster movie, oba, those snacks can be expensive! I mean who is really paying $15 for a Bud Light at a Jets game or $25 […]

Unger Suspicion

New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’

February 16, 2019 Andrew

LONDON, UK A popular new biopic, Blumenort Rhapsody, reveals a side of Freddie Mercury’s life that has remained untold until now. From 1978-1982, the Queen singer secretly lived among the Mennonites of southern Manitoba. “At the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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