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morden

The Daily Bonnet

Highway 3 from Morden Makes Sharp Left Turn to Avoid Winkler

September 12, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Instead of going straight into Winkler, Highway 3 makes an abrupt turn north just as it meets Highway 14. “Typical Mordeners, always scared of a little dose of church,” said Winkler resident Mr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Family Plans Exotic Vacation in Morden this Summer

September 1, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Since international travel remains a no-go this year, Winkler family, the Schroeders, have decided to go someplace they’ve never been to before, that being the neighbouring community of Morden. “We’ve been to Playa […]

The Daily Bonnet

Morden Hockey Team to be Known as the “Not Winklers”

July 15, 2020 Andrew

NOT WINKLER, MB A Morden junior hockey team has decided to adopt a new nickname that was the most fitting and local name they could think possibly think of: The Not Winklers. “We scratched our […]

The Daily Bonnet

Undocumented Workers from Morden Flood Into Winkler

January 30, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER,MB With the construction season fast approaching, hundreds of undocumented schjekbenjels from Morden have been flooding into the neighbouring community of Winkler looking for work. “Jauma, that church lobby was full this morning,” said Mrs. […]

Unger Conviction

Elders Warn that Morden, Manitoba is Full of ‘Aufjefollna’ Mennonites

November 17, 2019 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Cousin Pieta of Reinland was spotted cruising down the highway to Morden this past week and was immediately branded as ‘aufaulle‘ by the village purity committee. “Diestchlaund, that cousin Pieta, heading to Morden […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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