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knackzoat

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Brings Inferior Zoat to Bonfire

May 31, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Richard Dyck, 57, is facing a slew of criticism this week after bringing something other than Ronnie’s knackzoat to a local bonfire. “I don’t know what came over that man. If […]

Unger & Thirst

How To Knack Your Zoat While Wearing A Mask

May 24, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Researchers at the University of Jantsied have spent the past two months solving the greatest challenge facing Mennonites these days: how to knack your zoat while wearing a face mask. Thanks to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Poll: What is Your Favourite Flavour of Knackzoat?

June 7, 2019 Andrew

It’s knackzoat season again. Gone are the days when all you had was a plain Papsi and lightly salted zoat. There are so many varieties these days, I’ve got the zoat sweats just thinking about […]

Unger & Thirst

Sound of Knacking Zoat Used as Mennonite Mating Call

May 2, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Young Mennonite men throughout the Grunthal region, including Gnadenfeld, Kronsgard, and Alt-Bergfeld, have been loudly knacking their zoat on the back of Ernie Friesen’s pick-up truck this weekend in hopes of attracting eligible […]

Unger & Thirst

Hipsters Flock to Rural Manitoba to Take Selfies with Knackzoat

August 8, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After being warned to stay away from the sunflower plants, thousands of Winnipeg hipsters have descended upon corner stores and gas stations across southern Manitoba to have their pictures taken next to bags […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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