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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Launches New App WautDeSchissjat

October 4, 2021 Andrew

CAMPO 6, MEXICO Mennonite technology guru Lina Wiebe, 37, of Campo 6 has just launched a brand new social media app called WautDeSchissjat. “It’s the bast app from Chihuahua City to Cuauhtemoc and avery place in […]

Unger Suspicion

Study: 99% of Anti-Vax “Research” Occurs While Taking a Dump

August 28, 2021 Andrew

FARGO, ND A new study shows that the overwhelming majority of anti-vax research occurs whilst the researcher is doing a number two. “We geolocated all the top anti-vax researchers and found almost all of them […]

Unger Suspicion

Man Who Believes Any Stupid Crap He Reads Online Thinks You’re the One Who’s a Sheep

August 8, 2021 Andrew

DOMMHEIT, AB Local man Mr. Kooltje, 43, who gets all his information from memes and YouTube videos, believes that those who don’t believe stupid crap they find online are “sheep.” “They’re just obeying whatever the […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Keeps On Asking Questions He Easily Could’ve Googled

June 28, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Klassen set a record today by posting more than thirty times on the local Oba Jo Steinbach page. His posts, however, were made up entirely of things he could’ve easily Googled. “What […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Mainstream Media Can’t be Trusted’ Says Area Man Who Gets All His Information from Memes

May 15, 2021 Andrew

ELKHART, IN A local man who gets all his information from memes he sees on social media has publicly declared that he has absolutely no use for “mainstream media.” “Ach, they’re all biased,” said Mr. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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