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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet

July 3, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Toews of Chihuahua moved all the way to northern Alberta this week just so he could have more reliable access to the world’s most expensive internet. “I love being taking advantage […]

Unger Suspicion

Babylon Bee Accidentally Mocks Rich White Cis Hetero Man

June 27, 2022 Andrew

JUPITER, FL After garnering a substantial following by mocking people who are different than them, the staff at fundamentalist Christian satire site Babylon Bee accidentally poked fun a rich white cisgender heterosexual male this week. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Using Genealogy Website to Cheat at Mennonite Game

November 12, 2021 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Timmy Plett, 34, of Landmark has been arrested by local RCMP this week after he was caught logging onto Mennonite genealogy website GRanDMA Online in an attempt to cheat at the Mennonite Game. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Reads Full Daily Bonnet Article After Years of Just Reading the Headlines

November 4, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Peter Bartsch of Leamington, who has spent the last five years reading The Daily Bonnet with his morning pripps, accidentally clicked on a post today and was shocked to discover there was an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Dick Hospitalized After Searching for Images of Relatives Online

October 22, 2021 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Oma Dick just received something called an iPad from her grandchildren and was told she could search for absolutely anything on it. Naturally, the first thing the 92-year-old Mennonite grandma did was search […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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