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hockey

Unger Games

Toews Plays Final Game for Chicago

April 15, 2023 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL There was a standing ovation in Chicago this week after former Canadian cabinet minister Vic Toews played his final game for the local NHL squad. “He didn’t score a lot of points in […]

Unger Games

Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA The quilting club at the Fresno First and Last Mennonite Church received an anonymous donation of fabric this past week, which they immediately set out to fashioning into a wonderful new quilt. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

James Reimer Declines to Wear ‘Violent’ San Jose Sharks Jersey

March 19, 2023 Andrew

SAN JOSE, CA Saying that the violent imagery goes against his religion, San Jose Sharks goalie James Reimer has declined to wear the team’s jersey. “It’s something that has weighed heavily on my conscience ever […]

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Players Offered Part Time Jobs at Portage Place

March 11, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Rumours are swirling about the potential sale of Portage Place to True North, which is really exciting for all the Jets players clamouring to get part time custodial jobs. “I realized hockey wasn’t […]

Unger Games

Morrissey Spotted at NHL All-Star Game

February 5, 2023 Andrew

SUNRISE, FL Controversial British rocker Morrissey was spotted at the NHL All Star Game in Florida this weekend, where he picked up two assists and placed third in the slap shot competition. “Who would have […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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