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hockey

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Wins A Million Dollars Worth of Farmer Sausage After Mr. Loeppky Scores 5 Goals in Floor Hockey Game

November 24, 2018 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After a stellar performance by Darren Loeppky in the EMC gymnasium this evening, one lucky member of the congregation is being awarded a million dollars, payable in farmer sausage over the next twenty […]

Unger Suspicion

HOFer Gary Bettman was Winnipeg Jets Leading Scorer from 1997-2010

November 12, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON American hockey phenom Gary Bettman was recently inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame. Perhaps the most-loved player of his generation, Bettman amassed more points than any other Winnipeg Jets player from 1997 […]

Unger Suspicion

Jets Ink Morrissey to Long Term Deal

August 22, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After months of negotiation the Winnipeg Jets announced today that they have inked legendary British alternative rocker Morrissey to a five-year deal. “We’re really glad to have Morrissey locked up for the next […]

Unger Games

Vegas Knights to Fold and Be Replaced With Massive ‘Game of Thrones’ Show

June 7, 2018 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV After just one year in Sin City, the Vegas Knights have decided to hang up their skates and focus on something they’re good at: Game of Thrones themed pre-game shows. “I just […]

Unger Suspicion

Don Cherry Says Suit is Inspired By Mennonite Floor Patterns

May 31, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON CBC broadcasting legend Don Cherry is known for his loud clothing, but throughout the playoffs he has been sporting “suits inspired by Mennonite floor patterns.” “I’ve been to Neubergthal and the museum there […]

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