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hockey

Unger Games

American Man Claims to be Huge ‘Hackey’ Fan

December 6, 2019 Andrew

BOSTON, MA Local man Darren Smith, 45, is starting to really annoy his friends by talking about the Canadian sport of “ice hackey” all the time. “I’ve really gotten into hackey lately,” said Smith. “Man, […]

Unger Games

Rogers Demands Sincere-Looking Half-Hearted Apology from Don Cherry

November 12, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Executives at Rogers have had absolutely enough of Don Cherry’s controversial remarks and are demanding that the 85-year-old hockey commentator “meet them half-way” and give “like, you know, at least a sincere-looking half-hearted […]

Unger Suspicion

Dustin Byfuglien Retires from NHL to Work on Mennonite Farm

October 25, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mysteriously absent from the Winnipeg Jets lineup so far this season, rumours have surfaced that Dustin Byfuglien is contemplating retirement to pursue his lifelong dream of working for minimum wage on a Mennonite […]

Unger Games

Desperate Winnipeg Jets Recruiting Farm Boys Near Kleefeld

July 16, 2019 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After losing player after player to free agency this summer, the Winnipeg Jets have had to get a little creative to fill their roster for next season. “We’re basically going out into the […]

Unger Games

Toronto Reaches Trade Deal with St. Louis to Swap Trophies

June 14, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After stiff negotiations, the City of Toronto has reached a trade deal with the City of St. Louis to trade their NBA Championship Trophy for a Stanley Cup. “Of course, St. Louis doesn’t […]

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