Kenney Commands All MLAs to Vacation in La Crete from Now On

EDMONTON, AB

Alberta Premier Jason Kenny has gotten into some hot water as of late for allowing eight of his most precious MLAs to travel during the holidays despite public health orders not to do so. In response, Kenney has now ordered all MLA to vacation “up in La Crete or someplace like that from now on.”

“It’s only a seven hour drive from Edmonton and you can listen to High Valley the whole drive up there,” said Kenney. “Plus they have a delightful Mennonite museum; it’s a great place to brush up on your Plautdietsch.”

Dozens of MLAs are reportedly already booking their next holiday for the northern Alberta town.

“We’re MLAs; we get a three-week vacation every two weeks, so you always have to have your bags packed,” said MLA Reimer. “I know it’s not Hawaii, but La Crete will have to do.”

Kenney is also permitting MLAs to visit other Alberta vacation hot spots like Linden, Taber, Tofield and Bow Island.

“Whatever you do, don’t let me see you boarding a plane,” said Kenney. “Until this pandemic is over, your only method of transportation is the manure spreader!”

As for himself, Kenney plans to wait out the pandemic with Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister at his vacation home in Costa Rica.

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