TORONTO, ON After witnessing the incredible healing powers of his touch, hip-hop superstar and NBA megafan Drake has been hired by the Toronto Raptors as official team trajchtmoaka. “It’s a new position for us. Something […]
STEINWERK, MB The annual local phone book will now be available exclusively in large print. The change is seen as a way of catering to the only demographic that still actually uses phone books. “The town […]
KITCHENER, ON Pastor Dave busted more than three dozen members of his youth group this past week after they naively thought a few sticks of Dentyne gum would cover up the smell of their Marlboros. […]
JERUSALEM, ISRAEL King Solomon of Israel is undergoing wisdom tooth surgery this week after a dentist told him “they’re basically useless and your mouth is too crowded as it is.” Solomon claims he was reluctant […]
STEINBACH, MB After hitting up Winkler last weekend and Steinbach this weekend, the Rogers Sportsnet crew has gained an average of twenty-three pounds in just two weeks. “When we chose to do Hometown Hockey in […]
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