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government

Unger Suspicion

Premier Pallister Invites Manitobans to Sign His Cast

November 18, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of Manitobans were lined up outside the Legislative Building in Winnipeg this afternoon for their chance to get up close and personal with Brian Pallister’s broken left arm. Manitobans of all walks […]

Unger & Thirst

Municipality Approves the Sale of Hash Brownies at Church Bake Sales

November 9, 2017 Andrew

SCHANZENSCHANTZ, MB The Rural Municipality of Schanzenschantz Manitoba voted last week to approve the sale of hashish brownies at church bake sales in the area. The vote came after the Province announced full control of […]

Unger Suspicion

Abe Claims Landslide Victory in Japanese Election

October 24, 2017 Andrew

TOKYO, JAPAN Abe from Winkler was shocked to discover he had somehow been elected Prime Minister of Japan. “The support of the Japanese people is overwhelming,” said Abe from Winkler, with a tear in his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Province to Enforce Demilitarized Zone Between Morden and Winkler

September 17, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER-MORDEN, MB In order to ease tensions in the region, a mile-wide demilitarized zone has been established between the twin Mennonite cities of Morden and Winkler. The Pembina Valley DMZ will act as a buffer […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Disaster Volunteers to Rebuild Severely Damaged Trump Administration

August 16, 2017 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Whether it’s hurricanes, earthquakes, or wildfires, when catastrophe strikes anywhere in North America, Mennonite volunteers are often called upon to help rebuild the damaged area. After a succession of disasters, thousands of Mennonite volunteers […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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