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gluttony

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Impressed with Such Large Portions of Such Poor Quality Food

January 3, 2025 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Area man Garry Kehler, 57, was very impressed with the huge portions of grisly disgusting “beef” he received at his favourite local diner Dave’s Feeding Trough. “Nobody else is doing portion sizes like […]

Unger & Thirst

Winnipeg Man Consumes All 183 ‘Burger Week’ Burgers

September 6, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Darren Sawatzky, 25, has become the first Winnipegger ever to consume every single ‘Le Burger Week’ burger. “It wasn’t going to be a fair vote unless I tried them all,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hasn’t Knacked Zoat All Year

January 3, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades as one of Winkler’s top zoat knackers, area man Art Harder, 71, is really proud of himself for resisting the urge to knack zoat all year. “Things were getting out of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Shocked that No One Starved at Recent Gathering

December 29, 2022 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Despite making enough food to feed the entire town of Black Creek, Mrs. Kroeker was utterly shocked that none of the Kroeker clan starved at the recent gathering. “There were 17 of […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Food Critic Demands Larger Portions

October 1, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK World-renowned Mennonite food critic Klaus Barkman has been hitting the streets of Saskatoon this week to ask one question, “does portion size really matter?” “The results shocked me. Menno after Menno said, oba, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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