Mennonite Man Hasn’t Knacked Zoat All Year


After decades as one of Winkler’s top zoat knackers, area man Art Harder, 71, is really proud of himself for resisting the urge to knack zoat all year.

“Things were getting out of hand with the zoat knacking,” said Harder. “You should have seen the pile on the floor of my F-150. But with a little prayer and persistent reminders from my wife Annie, I’m happy to report that I’ve licked the problem.”

For the first time since infancy, Harder’s been completely zoat-less all year.

“My buddies at the Co-op said I couldn’t do it,” said Harder. “They didn’t think I could resist the urge, but I sure proved them wrong now didn’t I?”

Having gone all year without knacking zoat has allowed Harder to pursue other activities.

“It’s remarkable all the changes I’ve noticed,” said Harder. “I’m getting up earlier, I’m less grumpy in church, I’ve even been able to really cut back on my meddachschlops.”

Moments after the interview, a half-eaten bag of Spitz was discovered in Harder’s glove box, though Harder says that doesn’t really count since Ronnies are the only real knackzoat anyway.

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