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germany

The Daily Bonnet

Germans Excited for ‘Taylor Schnell’ Concert

July 11, 2024 Andrew

HAMBURG, GERMANY Local music fans are lining up outside the Volksparkstadion in Hamburg this afternoon to witness pop star Taylor Schnell. “Schnell! Schnell! Get on the train,” yelled train attendant Olga Kaiserbun. “All aboard for […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Introduces New ‘Dunkel’ Schmaunt Fat

September 27, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB In what has already been hailed as the greatest innovation in Mennonite culinary history, area woman Lois Braun, 57, introduced a new dark, more robust schmaunt fat at the church potluck this week. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Canadian Mennonites Upset as their Team, the Germans, are Eliminated from the World Cup

December 4, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Thousands of Mennonite soccer fans across Canada were really upset this week after the team they were really rooting for, the Germans, were eliminated from the World Cup yet again. “Ugh, typical Germany, […]

Unger Games

New Card Game ‘German Blitz’ Fails to Catch On

November 30, 2022 Andrew

BERLIN, GERMANY After visiting Pennsylvania last year, German inventor Andreas Fischer discovered a favourite new card game and decided to make a version of his own. Unfortunately for Fischer the game has not really caught […]

The Daily Bonnet

Jantsied Extends Border Closure with Ditsied

December 17, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB After receiving pressure from the authoritarian regime over in Jantsied, government officials in neutral Rosenort have extended the border closure between the two warring nations. “The iron curtain between between Jantsied and Ditsied […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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