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Unger Conviction

Church Elders to Investigate Member’s Involvement in Wordle Cheating Scandal

February 6, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The posting of a “highly suspicious” Wordle score by Mrs. Lois Toews of Winkler has spurred on the church elders to investigate. “A 1/6? Seriously, a 1/6? I’ve never seen that in all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Shocks Relatives by Shooting with Middle Finger

November 3, 2021 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Mr. Dueck had all the frintschoft in a tizzy this past week after he sunk twenty after twenty with his middle finger. “I always knips better with the middle one,” said Mr. Dueck. […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man to Play Just One More Game of Tetris

August 5, 2021 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Local man Earl Bergmann, 47, of Omaha has been playing “just one more game of Tetris” since he got that Nintendo Entertainment System during Christmas 1989. “Just one more game, Mom, just one […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Still Can’t Get that Pink Pie

February 17, 2021 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON Dwight Braun, 63, of Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario has been one pink pie away from winning this game of Trivial Pursuit that he started in 1981. “Those entertainment questions are absolutely killer,” said Braun. “I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Severely Injures Knipsing Finger

May 17, 2020 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON The global crokinole community was in shock this week after star flicker Mr. Funk went down with an injury to his knipsing finger. “The crokinole world has never seen anything like this, especially […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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