Mennonite Man Severely Injures Knipsing Finger


The global crokinole community was in shock this week after star flicker Mr. Funk went down with an injury to his knipsing finger.

“The crokinole world has never seen anything like this, especially not with an experienced knipser like Mr. Funk,” said Sportsnet analyst David Martens. “He and Mr. Eby had accumulated a 90 point lead before Mr. Funk took one in the knuckle from an errant shot by his opponent.”

Mr. Funk is currently being treated for his knipsing injury at Kitchener General Hospital’s special Intensive Crokinole Ward.

“He’s got more gauze on that thing than we’ve ever given out before,” said Dr. Tiessen, “but you just can’t take any chances when it comes to crokinole. We’ve got to get him back out their on the playing board.”

Mr. Funk’s finger has recently been released from the hospital, although doctors are still being cautious.

“He’s not ready to knips again just yet,” said Dr. Tiessen. “It may take months of flicking soft objects before he can go back to flicking little round pieces of wood.”

The annual Kitchener Crokinole Masters will feature a moment of silence for Mr. Funk’s finger this year and all boards will be fitted with tiny little nets so that an injury like this doesn’t happen again.

(photo credit: youngthousands/CC)

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