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gambling

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Bans ‘Roll Up the Rim’ as Gambling

March 5, 2018 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC The South Chilliwack Gospel Mennonite Church has banned members from rolling up the rim at Tim Hortons, as it violates the church’s strict teaching against games of chance. The church took the action […]

The Daily Bonnet

Police Raid Mennonite Gambling Den, Seize Hundreds of Rook Cards

January 29, 2018 Andrew

WICHITA, KS Wichita police stormed a notorious local gambling den this week, arresting more than two dozen Mennonites and seizing countless decks of Rook cards. The raid is the largest bust of Mennonite gamblers since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Young Man on Life Support after Dangerous Game of Russian Mennonite Roulette

August 3, 2017 Andrew

HERBERT, SK One young man is on life support at the Herbert Hospital after a late night game of Russian Mennonite Roulette did not go as planned. Arnold Vogt, 20, was rushed to Emergency with severe […]

The Daily Bonnet

A Mennonite Guide to Card Games – Ranked in Order of Sinfulness

November 15, 2016 Andrew

In an effort to add some clarity to a topic that has baffled Mennonites for centuries, the Daily Bonnet has devised a handy ranking of the relative evilness of particular card games. In descending order, the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wagers His Sod Hut on Today’s Football Game

September 4, 2016 Andrew

REGINA, SK An area man will be homeless tonight if the Winnipeg Blue Bombers fail to beat the Saskatchewan Roughriders in today’s Labour Day Classic football match. “I’m so confident the Bombers will win, I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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