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gambling

The Daily Bonnet

La Crete Couple Spends Wild Weekend in High Level

March 30, 2026 Andrew

HIGH LEVEL, AB It was an unexpectedly wild weekend for the Driedgers of La Crete, who decided to spend a couple days up in High Level. “Jauma, this place is Sin City,” said Mrs. Driedger. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman “Wins the Lottery” After Neighbour’s Clothes Blow into Her Yard

July 8, 2025 Andrew

ST. JACOB’S, ON Mrs. Martin is feeling like she won the lottery this week after a particularly windy day blew all of Mrs. Schmidt’s clothes right into her yard. “This should keep the Martins supplied […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Suspends Man 41 Weeks for Using Playing Cards

October 28, 2023 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Area man David Schmidt, 33, has been suspended from church until well into next summer for doing a card trick for his niece Jessica at a recent family gathering. “Ugh, all I did […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Convinced He Has a 50% Chance of Winning 50/50 Draw

August 7, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Goossen was at a slo-pitch tournament in Winnipeg this week when he decided to give up his lifelong abstention from gambling and buy a 50/50 ticket. “I know I’m not supposed to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Vaccine “Lottery” Rebranded as Vaccine “Quilt Raffle” for Pious Southern Manitobans

June 9, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Not wanting to participate in anything resembling a “lottery”,  Mennonites of the Winker area have agreed to get the vaccine so long as their names are thrown into the hat for the quilt […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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