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frugality

The Daily Bonnet

Entire City of Steinbach Stymied by Globe and Mail Paywall

March 12, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Moments after learning the city had made national news yet again, thousands of Steinbachers clamoured to find out what was said about them. “Ugh. Paywall. Typical,” said Mrs. Plett, who was attempting to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Starts GoFundMe to Pay for Tips at Chicken Chef

January 31, 2023 Andrew

SCHTAINBACK, MB Area man Timothy Thiessen, 37, has just launched a new GoFundMe campaign to help pay for the more than $75,000 he owes to the serving staff at local restaurants. “I’ve haven’t tipped since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman All Out of Candy Already

October 31, 2022 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Area woman Angie Neufeld, 38, was all out of candy at 5:30 PM this evening and has shut off her lights and gone to bed. “Sorry, kids, better try next door at the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hundreds of Expired Chicken Chef Coupons Discovered in Mennonite Man’s Wallet

October 10, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Investigators have finally revealed just what was causing Mr. Neil Reimer’s wallet to grow to such an enormous size – Chicken Chef coupons. “It all makes sense now,” said lead investigator Sheena Plett. […]

Unger Suspicion

Nickelback Frontman Insists He’s Really a Kroeker

September 27, 2022 Andrew

HANNA, AB Lead singer of beloved Canadian rockers Nickelback has come out this week and said he’s actually much more of a Mennonite than we ever suspected. “Mench ek saj! You’ve been pronouncing and spelling […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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