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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Cooks His Wieners a Perfect Medium Rare

July 4, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local gourmet Isaac Unrau of Winnipeg has mastered the art of cooking wieners to that perfect medium rare that everyone enjoys. “I cook my wieners to order,” said Unrau, tending to his Canadian […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Dented Cans and Bruised Bananas

June 14, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Epp was filling her cart to the brim with dented cans and bruised bananas this week, hoping that she could get a huge discount when she brought them to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Free Vaccine’ Causes Quite the Quandary for Mennonite Man

May 22, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Timmy Wiens of Winkler took a break from knacking zoat in front of the Co-op this weekend after learning the provincial government was going to be offering vaccines for everyone in the province. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Mennonites are All Sharing the Same Netflix Password

March 31, 2021 Andrew

INMAN, KS A recent investigation had concluded that every single Penner, Friesen, and Funk in the state of Kansas are all sharing the same Netflix account. “It’s believed to have started with Abe Penner of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rainy Day Equals Free Car Wash for Mennonite Man

March 25, 2021 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK As soon as the skies started to get dark this afternoon, Peter Bueckert, 41, of Rosthern was quick to get his ’92 Ford Escort outside into the rain. “Free car wash!” yelled Bueckert […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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