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frugality

Unger & Thirst

O’Toole Offers Mennonites Half Off at Chicken Chef

September 11, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Following up an election promise of discounts at Swiss Chalet, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole is now wooing Mennonite voters by promising a really good deal at Chicken Chef yet once. “Oba jo!” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Shames Restaurant by Weighing Farmer Sausage to Prove it’s Underweight

August 1, 2021 Andrew

GRUENHIMMEL, SK Mr. Harder was aghast at the minuscule portion size of farmer sausage he received at a local Mennonite restaurant in Blummenhimmel this week and immediately asked to speak to the manager. “I’ve been […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Cooks His Wieners a Perfect Medium Rare

July 4, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local gourmet Isaac Unrau of Winnipeg has mastered the art of cooking wieners to that perfect medium rare that everyone enjoys. “I cook my wieners to order,” said Unrau, tending to his Canadian […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Stocks Up on Dented Cans and Bruised Bananas

June 14, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local woman Mrs. Epp was filling her cart to the brim with dented cans and bruised bananas this week, hoping that she could get a huge discount when she brought them to the […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Free Vaccine’ Causes Quite the Quandary for Mennonite Man

May 22, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Timmy Wiens of Winkler took a break from knacking zoat in front of the Co-op this weekend after learning the provincial government was going to be offering vaccines for everyone in the province. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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