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frugality

Unger & Thirst

McDonalds Adds ‘Mennonite Tomato Soup’ Made From Ketchup Packets to Menu

September 19, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Inspired by patrons in Winkler, Steinbach and other predominantly Mennonite communities that McDonalds serves, the international fast food chain is testing out a new menu item: tomato soup made from ketchup packets and water […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dozens Injured as Mennonites Stampede to Pick Up Dime from Sidewalk in Downtown Steinbach

September 14, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB There was a stampede down Main Street Steinbach yesterday after a stray dime was dropped from Mr. Peters’ pocket. Dozens were hospitalized with a variety of injuries when thousands of locals clamoured to get […]

The Daily Bonnet

Students Petition CMU for ‘Hipster Discount’

September 7, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A group of millennial students at Canadian Mennonite University have asked the institution for a discount on their tuition because they are hipsters. “Children of alumni, missionary kids, pastor’s kids – they all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Town Unveils New Public Transit System

August 23, 2016 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB The small Mennonite town of Grunthal has recently unveiled a new ten year plan to improve the growing community’s public transportation infrastructure. The plan includes the licensing of guys with pickup trucks to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Finds Money Mysteriously Left Behind on Restaurant Table

August 17, 2016 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Peter K. Barkman, 57, of the Winkler area hit the jackpot this past Tuesday as he found five quarters and a loonie inexplicably left behind on the table by previous restaurant patrons. “It’s my […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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