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friesen

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen Population Set to Pass 8 Billion ‘Any Day Now’

August 18, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB According to a UN study, the Friesen population is projected to reach 8,000,000,000 within days. The Friesen Population Clock was at 7.97 billion this week and statisticians are on pins and needles waiting […]

The Daily Bonnet

Gathering Cancelled: Friesens Told to Go Home and Stay There

December 27, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK More than 250,000 Friesens were scheduled to attend the extended family gathering in Saskatoon this weekend, before the whole thing was called off at the last minute under Oma’s orders. “It was going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen from Reimer Avenue to Visit Reimer from Friesen Avenue

October 15, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Friesen of Reimer Avenue had a splendid evening chatting about politics and kids these days with Mr. Reimer of Friesen Avenue. “Last week I had Mr. Brandt of Loewen Blvd. and Mr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesens Report the Reimers for Having an Illegal Gathering

March 26, 2021 Andrew

SCHNERVFELD, MB The police were present at the Reimer house to hand out dozens of fines after the Friesens ratted out the Reimers for eating paska without masks and being within six feet of an […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesens Brings In Extra Friesens to Print that Daily Bonnet Guy’s New Novel

August 31, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The demand for Andrew Unger’s new novel Once Removed is so high that Friesens of Altona has got local Friesens working overtime to print copies of the book. “We put out an All Friesen bulletin,” said […]

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