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Unger & Thirst

Neufeld Downs Entire Grey Cup Filled with Komst Borscht

December 13, 2021 Andrew

HAMILTON, ON All-star offensive lineman Patrick Neufeld of the Grey-Cup winning Winnipeg Blue Bombers became the first player in CFL history to fill the cup with oma’s delicious komscht borscht. “It was either that or […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Spends Entire Grey Cup Reading Daily Bonnet Articles

December 12, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mrs. Esther Thiessen of Winnipeg has been accused of being present in body but not in spirit at this afternoon’s Grey Cup party, where she was spotted on numerous occasions scrolling through Facebook […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fight Breaks Out Over Coat at Local Thrift Store

November 25, 2021 Andrew

SEWARD, NE There was an all out brawl at the local thrift store this afternoon after a lovely faux fur winter coat was spotted by two Mennonite women simultaneously. “I saw it first!” yelled Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

Jets Change Time of December 5 Game to Accommodate Faspa

October 27, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After it was discovered that the Winnipeg Blue Bombers’ home playoff game on Sunday December 5 was in direct conflict with the Jets game at the same time, it became immediately clear that […]

Unger Games

Mrs. Friesen Signed On as New Bombers Kicker

October 11, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After cycling through a series of placekickers who couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn door, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers scoured the streets of North Kildonan in search of someone, anyone, who […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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