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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Accidentally Consumes a Vegetable

June 12, 2017 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Local man Klass Klassen, 53, was rushed to the hospital this past week after it was discovered he had inadvertently consumed two carrots and a few florets of broccoli. “Mennonites are highly allergic […]

Unger & Thirst

Faspa Cancelled After Church Runs Out of Bothwell Cheese

May 28, 2017 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB For the first time since the Great Depression, the weekly faspa at New Bothwell MEMB church had to be cancelled this Sunday after Mrs. Loewen forgot to pick up the required three […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Becomes Completely Obsessed with Jollibee

May 27, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB When Filipino fast food giant Jollibee opened up in Winnipeg, Garth and Pamela Friesen of North Kildonan were lured in by the smiling cartoon bee and the chance to try sweet spaghetti. Since it opened […]

Unger & Thirst

Maid of Honour Toasts Bride With Glass of Water

May 24, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Guests at the Harder-Peters wedding this past weekend were busy enjoying a pleasant Mennonite meal in the church basement when it was time for the toasts to the bride and groom. “I’ve known Cynthia […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chaos Erupts After Pooper Scooper is Confused for BBQ Tongs

May 22, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Chaos erupted at the Loewen family BBQ at Prince’s Island Park this weekend when the bbq tongs were mixed up with the dog’s pooper scooper. “I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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