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farmer sausage

Unger & Thirst

‘Wurst’ Turns Out to Be the ‘Best’

June 17, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB They’ve been making the wurst in southern Manitoba for decades and one wurst maker has finally created the best. “You won’t find a better wurst in all of Winkler,” said local butcher Mr. […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Bids Fond Farewell to Future Farmer Sausage

July 26, 2023 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Earlier this week, Mrs. Erin Neufeld, 22, of Grunthal, Manitoba paid her last respects to her beloved pig Stockwell, named after the former leader of the Canadian Alliance Party. “I’ll be seeing you […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Smokes His Sausage By Just Leaving it Outside for a While

June 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The air quality was so bad in Winnipeg this afternoon, that Mr. Dave Peters managed to smoke a whole ring of formavorscht just by leaving it sitting out in his backyard for a […]

Unger & Thirst

Lord Blesses Mennonites with Massive Farmer Sausage Smoke Shack

June 9, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The prayers of devout Mennonites across Canada have been answered this week as thousands of acres of forest are now on fire, providing ample opportunity to smoke a sausage or two. “I was […]

Unger the Influence

Liberals Update Passport to Include Sausages from Across Canada

May 23, 2023 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Fears that the new Canadian passport would be a little too bland for the tastes of Canadians were proved to be unfounded this week after the Liberal government revealed a new sausage-filled passport. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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