Billionaires Rescued from Meatball Sub

ROSENORT, MB

The fate of highly successful flax farmer Darren Klassen and his billionaire farmer buddies hangs in the balance at a southern Manitoba sandwich shop this afternoon.

“Will he risk it with the meatball sub or won’t he?” wondered Mrs. Dueck. “Lord knows, many a soul has been lost to a cold cut combo or meatball sub with too much mayo.”

Luckily for Klassen, however, rescue crews managed to snatch the sandwich from his hands just in the nick of time.

“He was just about to take a bite,” said rescue coordinator Andrew Siemens. “But I slapped that thing right out of his hands. As a back-up plan I had a whole bottle of Tums on the ready.”

Klassen is grateful to the rescue team and promises to never eat fast food sub sandwiches again. Renowned Hollywood director James Cameron has already purchased the rights to Klassen’s sub disaster story for an estimated 1.2 billion dollars. 

(photo credit: jeffreyw/CC)

It’s So Hot Today that Mennonite Man is Willing to Drink Bud Light
Maxime Bernier Spotted Sobbing Outside ‘Winners’ Store