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economy

Unger Suspicion

This Toronto-Area Shed Just Sold for $600,000 Over Asking Price

April 27, 2021 Andrew

ETOBICOKE, ON A 64 square foot shed in Mr. Penner’s backyard has just sold for $600,000 over the asking price. “So that’s a total of $600, 500,” said an excited Mr. Penner, who had been […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Quits Bitcoin and Puts All His Money into Sheets of Plywood

April 6, 2021 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Having almost doubled his money with Bitcoin over the past year, amateur investor Allan Driedger, 41, of Saskatoon is planning to throw it all in the hottest market around: sheets of plywood. “My […]

Unger Suspicion

The GameStop Frenzy Explained for Mennonites (Using an Easy to Understand Zoat Analogy)

February 1, 2021 Andrew

Everybody’s been talking about GameStop this and GameStop that. Shorting stocks and hedge funds. And Reddit? Oba! But what does it all mean yet? Well thankfully we’ve got Kjnels Reima, Kleine Gemeinde church treasurer, to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Hedge Funds Shorting Stock at Quilt Auction

January 29, 2021 Andrew

BUCKS COUNTY, PA Mennonite quilt stocks have been soaring this week after a group of Mennonites on Reddit decided to bankrupt the billionaire Mennonite church elders who’d been shorting the precious quilt stock. “Honestly, I […]

Unger Suspicion

Productivity Way Down as Canadians Spend All Day Refreshing Test Results Page

October 29, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC A new study out of the University of Chilliwack has attributed the entirety of Canada’s economic downturn to the fact that Canadians are spending all every day refreshing their Covid test result screens. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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