Mr. Enns Accuses Mr. Ens of ‘Sheer Laziness’


Mr. Enns has accused Mr. Ens of the greatest crime a Mennonite can commit: laziness. Evidence of this ‘sheer laziness’ is the fact that Mr. Ens decides to spell his name with only three letters.

“What a fuela!” exclaimed Mr. Enns. “With a work ethic like that, it’s no wonder he doesn’t get the bushels per acre that I always get.”

The Ennses have long looked down their noses at the Enses for a wide variety of things including, but not limited to, the fact that they have a Jantsied accent, spell their name incorrectly, and sing the totally wrong version of the Doxology. The Enses, however, aren’t too concerned with this litany of supposed errors.

“One man’s laziness is another man’s frugality,” said Mr. Ens. “Just imagine all the paper and ink that Mr. Enns has wasted with all those extra Ns.”

Rumour has it that some particularly righteous members of the Enns family are going to be calling themselves Ennns from now on, while a few Ens cousins are going to dropping the N completely.

“You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t,” said Mr. Enns. “Isn’t that what they always say?”

Mrs. Enns reminded him that, no, that’s not what they always say and he better watch his language.

“He’s starting to have such a filthy mouth,” said Mrs. Enns. “Must be from spending so much time with those Enses.”

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