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Unger Conviction

Church Puppets Shock Congregation by Appearing Completely Naked

November 5, 2019 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Hundreds of parishioners ran screaming out of the auditorium at Westside Mennonite Church this past week, after a pair of puppets, Chester and Melissa, appeared on stage without any clothes on. The move […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Get their Hands on $65 Elton John T-Shirts

October 5, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites were crowding the hallways at the Bell MTS Place last night to get their hands on some $65 Elton John T-Shirts. “Oba, yo! Oh, look, a hoodie for $125 and for just […]

Unger Suspicion

Mysterious Mennonite Man to Start for Green Bay Packers in Winnipeg Thursday

August 21, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Peter Wiebe’s cousin Kjnels from Swift Current Colony, Mexico will be starting for the Green Bay Packers as they face the Oakland Raiders in an exhibition match in Winnipeg Thursday night. “I can’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Walks Around in ‘Thongs’ All Summer

June 27, 2019 Andrew

GRAND BEACH, MB Mr. Wiens, 58, of Vankla has been spending a lot of time at Grand Beach this year wearing little more than a thong. “Going to the beach, honey,” said Mr. Wiens. “Anyone […]

Unger Conviction

Congregation Shocked as Guitarist Snaps a G String

June 25, 2019 Andrew

SALEM, OR Parishioners at the South Salem Mennonite Church were in shock this last week after song leader and guitarist Miss Horsch lost her G string right in the middle of “10,000 Reasons.” “I’ve never […]

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