Maxime Bernier Spotted Sobbing Outside ‘Winners’ Store


Maxime Bernie was spotted curled up in a ball and sobbing outside a Winners store in Winnipeg, Manitoba this week.

“He told me to pull over as soon as he saw the sign.” said local cab diver Pete Wiebe, who was escorting the embattled leader to the Winnipeg airport. “The name alone trigger him I guess.”

Bernier is so unliked that even in the conservative hotbed of Portage-Lisgar, he couldn’t muster more votes than some random farmer whose name was picked from a hat.

“He’s been weeping in front of that Winners store for an hour,” said cab driver Wiebe. “I thought of going over and comforting him, but, hey, you know, the meter’s still running.”

Bernier had not yet said what his plans are for the future, but Wiebe has an idea or two.

“I hear they’re auditioning for the upcoming season of ‘Biggest Loser,’” said Wiebe. “Now that’s a competition I’m sure he could win.”

At press time, Maxime Bernier had stripped off all his clothes and was huddled in a fetal position while bargain hunters scooted by him with their shopping carts.

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