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church

Unger Conviction

Pastor to Defer $6800 Per Year in Unusual Arrangement with Local Mennonite Church

December 14, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Free agent pastor Sharon O. Broesky, a two-way minister who can preach as well as she can baptize, was a hot commodity on the pastoral market this fall and has just inked an […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Pastor Pulled After Just 47 Pitches

October 5, 2023 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Despite being less than five minutes into his Sunday morning sermon, Pastor Barry was pulled from the service and replaced with a left-handed pastor. “I can’t figure out why Elder Schneider came to […]

Unger Games

Curling Match Cancelled After Mennonite Men Refuse to Cast the First Stone

September 23, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The curling season in Altona, Manitoba has been postponed this weekend after Mr. Plett and Mr. Kroeker both refused to cast the first stone. “I blame Pastor Ron,” said local curling fan Dave […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Features First Air Conditioned Sanctuary in Town

July 25, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of eager worshippers flocked to South Elmwood Mennonite Church this Sunday to experience their first ever summer service without pit stains. “Ahhh, this is the life,” said new parishioner Jack Baerg, who […]

Unger Conviction

Massive Usher Shortage Shuts Down Mennonite Church this Summer

July 16, 2023 Andrew

YARROW, BC A Mennonite church in Yarrow, British Columbia has had to shutter its doors for the summer after they couldn’t find a single person willing to fold the bulletins or take Mrs. Driedger by […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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