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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Enters Sanctuary Hidden in a Broom Cart

June 28, 2023 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN The rumours are true. Video footage confirms this week that Mountain Lake’s most popular pastor Tyler Schmidt sneaks into the sanctuary each Sunday hidden in a broom cart. “Tyleeeeer! Tyleeeer!” screamed Mountain […]

Unger Conviction

Oba yo, Candice Bergen was right: Why We Know the Young People Really are “Brainwashed”

May 28, 2023 Andrew

BY: ABE FROM VANKLA Oba yo, I don’t normally agree with a woman, but this time I do. Candice Bergen is right! The young people these days. Diewel! I’m just glad someone was finally willing […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Church Accused of Serving Weak Coffee

November 20, 2022 Andrew

GNADENTHAL, MB An area Mennonite church has been called before the local ministerial this week for “watering down the true essence of our faith” by serving “such weak coffee that even the Lutherans would not […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Boy Takes Girl to Church on First Date

November 22, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Nervous Peter, 18, finally worked up the courage to ask out Melissa who sits three seats in front of him in Mr. Epp’s period 3 Math class at WC Miller Collegiate. To his […]

Unger Conviction

Local Church Becomes 7-Eleven Franchise So it Can Reopen as an Essential Service

December 9, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The EGCMB Church of Saskatoon has installed five Slurpee machines and a place to rotate the wieners so that they can reopen as an essential business this Sunday. “Come for the gospel, stay […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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