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children

Unger Suspicion

Child Confuses Amazon Driver for Santa Claus

December 22, 2022 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Little Timmy Plett of Rosthern has been losing sleep in anticipation of the upcoming gift-giving season. In fact, when the Amazon truck pulled up the Plett yard last night, Timmy ran out in […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Vows Never Again to Ask English Prof to Read the Children’s Story

October 26, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB All the children ages 3 to 11 at East Winnipeg MBCC church were called up to the front for the children’s story this Sunday morning, when renowned CMU English professor Dr. Leroy Klippenstein […]

Unger & Thirst

New Reports Claims Children Just Faking It, Most Absolutely Love Broccoli and Brussels Sprouts

June 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON A new Health Canada study shows that kids have been fooling us the entire time. According to research, Canadian children report broccoli, brussels sprouts, and green peppers among their absolute favourite foods. “It […]

Unger Conviction

Winkler Area Church to Meet in Bouncy Castle

February 22, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Having outgrown the capacity of a nearby storage shed, a Winkler area church has decided to relocate the entire congregation to a bouncy castle they’ve inflated on the Kroeker yard. “Oh, look, a […]

Unger Conviction

Sunday School Kids Hold Freedom Convoy from Nursery All the Way to the Pastor’s Office

January 28, 2022 Andrew

AYLMER, ON After being totally fed up by being forced to eat plain Cheerios for snack each Sunday during Children’s Church, a group of Mennonite Sunday school kids stormed out of the nursery this past […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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