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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Concerned About Her Stock After Markets Tumble

March 28, 2025 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Area woman Aganetha Barkman rushed home from the quilting bee this afternoon after hearing on the radio that stocks were crashing. “Not on my watch!” proclaimed Barkman, hopping into her CRV. “I remember […]

Unger & Thirst

Skeptical Burger King Customer Seeks to Prove the Existence of ‘Ketchup Nuggets’

August 6, 2023 Andrew

ST. CATHERINES, ON As significant doubts about the existence of ketchup nuggets spread like wildfire this week, Burger King Canada has decided to post photographic evidence that their new ‘ketchup nuggets’ are actually a real […]

The Daily Bonnet

Kildonan Fellowship Church Opens New Location in Winnipeg

May 1, 2023 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB A brand new Kildonan Fellowship Church location has opened in Winnipeg this week and locals are really excited to try it out. “It’s really awesome to see Kildonan Fellowship Church branching out […]

Unger & Thirst

World’s Most Daring Mennonite Man Tries the Mild Spice

March 25, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Andre Unrau, 43, of Steinbach has entered the Guinness Book of Records this week after trying the mild spice at the new Chica’s Chicken in Steinbach. “No Mennonite has ever ventured beyond the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man to Open Massive Backyard Poultry Operation in Winnipeg

April 14, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Moments after the City of Winnipeg announced plans to allow for “backyard chickens,” Corny Wiebe bought quota for a 10,000-bird chicken operation, which he plans to open on his North Kildonan property. “Finally […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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