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brian pallister

Unger Suspicion

Pallister to Live Out the Rest of His Days in Quaint Central American Colony

September 2, 2021 Andrew

BLUE CREEK COLONY, BELIZE A mix-up in paperwork had former Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister arriving at a conservative Mennonite colony in Belize, rather than the resort in Costa Rica he had intended. “Oba, waut on […]

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

Unger Suspicion

Brian Pallister to Manitobans: “You Can’t Fire Me; I Quit!”

August 10, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After sinking to a historic low in the approval ratings, Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister tossed over his desk this morning in a huff and could be heard yelling “you can’t fire me; I […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba’s Vaccine Passport Only Good for Trips to Costa Rica

June 8, 2021 Andrew

LIBERIA, COSTA RICA Manitoba’s new vaccine passport will provide fully vaccinated individuals with unrestricted travel to absolutely everywhere in the whole world between Nicaragua and Panama.  “Costa Rica yet? Oba, not even Vankla?” said a […]

Unger Suspicion

Brian Pallister Sends Out Emergency Alert Warning Manitobans that He is Still Premier

May 23, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB On Friday afternoon, thousands of Manitobans were startled with an emergency alert on their phones warning them that Brian Pallister is still in charge of things around here. “Waut de schissjat is this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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