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Unger & Thirst

Man Disguised as Mennonite Woman Smears Schmaunt Fat on Mona Lisa

May 31, 2022 Andrew

PARIS, FRANCE The world’s most famous painting was defiled this afternoon with a delicious white cream gravy known to Mennonites as “schmaunt fat.” “I don’t really think of it as defilement really,” said head of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Warhol’s ‘Miriam’ Shatters Record, Sells for $195 Million

May 11, 2022 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY A rare Andy Warhol pop art painting of Mennonite literary icon Miriam Toews shattered auction records this week after an anonymous bidder from Schanzenfeld scooped up the image for a whopping $195 million, […]

Unger & Thirst

“Den of Iniquity” Filled with Cool Nice People Drinking Beers and Appreciating Art

December 16, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The opening of Steinbach’s first ever “den of iniquity” this week drew quite the crowd of pleasant folks sipping craft beer and appreciating art at The Public Brewhouse and Gallery on Main Street. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Altona to Erect Massive Jackson Pollock Right Next to Big Van Gogh

August 16, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB For years, tourists have flocked to the Altona region to see the fields of sunflowers, the beautiful sculpture garden, and the world’s largest Van Gogh. But a petition is going around to add […]

The Daily Bonnet

World’s Most Creative Mennonite Paints Entire House Builder’s Beige

June 8, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON There’s been a revolution in Mennonite interior design as of late with home owners opting for such vibrant colours as off-white, eggshell and, exclusively for the bold rebel Mennonite type, builder’s beige. “Oba, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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