9 Pound Mennonite Baby Miraculously Born Three Months Premature


Just six months after Peter and Elvira Doerksen were married in the Altona MCMB church, the couple experienced the miraculous birth of their firstborn son Timothy.

“We’re really glad that he was a healthy weight, even though I was just at the end of the second trimester,” said proud mother Elvira. “The pastor is calling it a miracle because there simply is no other explanation as to how young Timothy could be fully developed only six months after Peter and I were bound in holy matrimony.”

This is not the first such miraculous occurrence in Altona history. The town has also been blessed with the birth of five healthy zygotes this past year alone.

“It’s just amazing,” explained MCMB Pastor David R. Unrau. “Babies are being born earlier and earlier it seems. I just married Mr. and Mrs. Jack Hildebrand five weeks ago and they’ve already given birth to two bouncing baby embryos. Twins!”

The rapid rate of fetal development in Altona has mystified local physicians who simply cannot explain how all these babies could be born less than nine months after their parents are married.

“It’s scientifically impossible,” said Dr. Peters, a longtime member of MCMB church. “The Lord truly works in mysterious ways.

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