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alcohol

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Finally Finds an IPA that’s Not Too Bitter for Him

August 24, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Garth Penner has been pressured by his buddies to drink something other than light lagers for years and has finally found an “IPA” suited to his tastes. “Got myself a Keith’s,” […]

Unger & Thirst

Pink Whitney Discovered in Mrs. Loewen’s Thermos

August 13, 2021 Andrew

HIMMELSDORF, MB Mrs. Loewen’s co-workers at the credit union in Himmelsdorf this week noted a mysterious pattern of behaviour after lunch that simply demanded an explanation. “She alway seems much happier after she’s had her […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Pastor Finally Approves Going for Shots in Morden

June 7, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pastor Dave has finally given the green light for Winklerites to “go have shots in Morden”. First in line was Susan Froese, 35, who had been waiting for this announcement for quite some […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbachers Excited to Have “Shots at the Legion”

May 13, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Ever since it was announced that the old Legion Building on Elm would be the spot of a new vaccine supersite, Steinbachers have been eager to book their time to go for shots […]

Unger & Thirst

Shocking Display of Sobriety Shown at Office Christmas Party

December 26, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Reports from the annual Christmas party of the law office of Dyck, Friesen, and Froese indicate that a shocking display of sobriety was demonstrated by almost all the employees. “It’s like this every […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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