Fight Breaks Out Between Winkler’s Top Two Fäasenjas 


Two of Winkler’s most noted Fäasenjas broke out into a fist fight this Sunday at the Christmas service. They were right in the middle of “Lobt Gott Ihr Christen Allzugleich,” when Mr. Wiebe slugged Mr. Penner in the jaw.

“He was way out of tune again,” said Mr. Wiebe, “and he kept messing up the tempo. I just couldn’t take it anymore. He had this coming!”

Mr. Wiebe says Mr. Penner has been doing this for years and doesn’t know how Mr. Penner kept his job as a Fäasenja.

“I mean, even Mr. Blatz would be better,” said Mr. Wiebe. “Somebody had to put a stop to this madness!”

Mr. Wiebe had Mr. Penner in a headlock, before the third Fäasenja, Mr. Klassen, stepped in.

“Oba, gentlemen, there’s plenty of Fäasenjing for everyone,” he said. “Gentleman! Gentlemen, please get a hold of yourself.”

When an errant punch landed in Mr. Klassen’s face, he, too, became involved in the altercation.

“Unfortunately, we’ve had to replace them all,” said Pastor Johan. “But I guess it’s not all bad. We needed to make a change around here anyway.”

Starting next Sunday, the worship will be led by a couple kids from the Youth Group and an overhead projector.

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