Steinbachers ‘Super Excited’ to Finally Have Some Sort of Prohibition Once Again


After decades of being the only community in Manitoba to ban alcohol sales, Steinbach has felt a little out-of-sorts since the first liquor store opened in 2009. So, this October, as Canada legalized cannabis sales, Steinbach voters jumped at the opportunity to finally prohibit something again.

“In a town where everything is closed at 9 o’clock, plebiscites are all we have to keep things interesting,” said Mr. Unrau. “I don’t have strong feelings one way or the other about cannabis sales, but I’m just glad that once again we’ll be able to distinguish ourselves from all the other towns around here. Banning stuff is what makes Steinbach great!”

Local man Mr. Friesen said he hopes the Canadian government keeps on relaxing the laws.

“The more stuff the Liberals legalize, the more stuff we can vote to ban,” said Mr. Friesen. “Without referendums and quilt auctions I really wouldn’t have any reason to get up in the morning.”

Steinbachers are looking forward to cannabis referendums every five years for the next fifty years until residents plan to change their minds and vote for legalization in the year 2068.

“I’m really looking forward to that 2068 referendum,” said local construction worker Peter. “I’ll be in my seventies by then. Boy, the hallways at the Rest Haven sure will look different.”

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