Blue Jays Sign Ohtani to Hit, Pitch, and Also Quarterback the Argos


Shohei Ohtani is set to become Toronto’s first three-way player this week, after agreeing to a massive multi-year contract to hit and pitch for the Blue Jays. His duties will also include quarterbacking the Argos.

“We figured if he could be the new Babe Ruth, we might as well also make him the new Doug Flutie,” said Jays manager John Schneider. “Plus with Ohtani behind center, we might even get a few fans to the Argos games.”

Ohtani’s salary is worth more than $60 million a year, plus an extra $90 thousand to QB the Argos.

“What can this man not do?” said Schneider. “I mean I’m pretty sure no one would object if we put him in the Premier’s office as well … except for Doug Ford, of course.”

Ohtani says he’s really looking forward to coming to Canada.

“I’ve always wanted to play in a dome,” said Ohtani. “And if that means I have to drop back and throw a few passes to do it, then so be it.”

The Blue Jays/Argos reportedly outbid an offer by the Los Angeles Dodgers who would have had Ohtani hitting, pitching, and selling Star Maps on Sunset Strip.

(photo credit: Mogami Kariya/CC)

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