CBC Bans Popular Plautdietsch Christmas Song ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte!’


Executives at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation have decided to ban the popular Plautdietsch holiday tune ‘Frü, Daut es Kold Büte’, after thousands of Canadians complained they didn’t know what the heck the words even meant.

“It’s a catchy melody, I guess,” said Mrs. Brandt, “but what on earth do the lyrics even mean? Is it even really a Christmas song?”

There were a lot of rumours about the song, including the idea that it was about an illicit yerba-fueled yuletide affair.

“Some people say the song is all about drinking yerba mate and making love in the hayloft,” said Mrs. Brandt. “That hardly seems like appropriate Christmas material to me.”

Not a single Canadian was able to translate the lyrics, except for a couple hundred people in southern Manitoba, most of whom ban the radio anyway. CBC says it will replace the potentially offensive song with “more appropriate” lyrics from contemporary pop artists.

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