Sparse Crowd at Nickelback Concert, Mostly Just Mennonites


It seems that a few dozen Mennonites from rural Manitoba are the only people in the country who don’t realize how bad a band Nickelback really is. With thousands of tickets left for last night’s concert in Winnipeg, those who did show commuted via tractor from the Hanover Municipality and Pembina Valley.

“I’m a huge Nickelback fan,” said Mitchell-area resident Andrew Regehr, 34. “I’ve nearly completely worn out my Silver Side Up cassette driving all the back roads in the area.”

Regehr, along with his friends Colin Epp and Dale Froese were among the only people who bothered to show up to see the world’s worst band.

“There were so few people there that they moved us up to the front row,” said Regehr. “It was pretty special. I even taught Chad Kroeger a few words in Low German.”

Nickelback was reportedly disappointed to see the sparse crowd, but encouraged by the sheer volume of Mennonites.

“I mean if there’s one thing the Mennonites are known for, it’s keeping up with trends and their impeccable taste in music,” said Kroeger. “I don’t care if we’ve only got Mennonites left. I’ll rock my mullet for anyone who shows up!”

The Nickelback lead singer reportedly had his haircut in Steinbach a few hours after the performance.

(photo credit: Angela Dietrich/CC)

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