President Trump Now Tweeting in Fluent Low German


Linguists and political pundits alike were baffled by a late-night possibly-drunken tweet by Donald Trump that seemed to contain a perfectly-formed Plautdietsch sentence.

“As far as we knew, the man was only fluent in English…although his vocabulary does seem to be limited to the words ‘tremendous’ and ‘China,’” said social media expert Erin Shaftesbury. “In Plautdietsch, however, the man seems to be a fount of eloquent verbiage.”

The tweet stayed on Twitter from midnight to 3 am, when it mysteriously disappeared and was replaced by a picture of bare-back Sean Spicer in cut-off jean shorts and suspenders.

“We can’t really figure out what’s happening on the POTUS Twitter page these days,” said Shaftesbury. “Either he’s taken a liking to the Mennonites, or his account’s been hacked by some kid from Mountain Lake, Minnesota.”

Between 4 and 5 am the account was live-tweeting a hog auction in perfect Low German, and at 6 am the President was confessing his undying love for Bertha Epp.

The meaning of little-known Plautdietsch term “covfefe,” however, remains a mystery…unless you’re one of the lucky folks who happen to own a copy of Herman Rempel and/or Dr. Jack Thiessen’s dictionary.

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